Harry decided to try diplomacy:"Thank you, Mr Filch. How's Mrs Norris?" Mrs Norris was Filch's constant companion: a large evil-looking, somewhat thread-bare cat, who Filch had once accused Harry of 'Murdrin', although the cat had only been petrified by the reflection of a Basilisk."Fine—gettin' old," he replied, as he turned and walked away. Harry turned the key in the lock and pushed open the door, to what would be his new home while at school. It was very different to his dormitory in Gryffindor Tower. He would miss that old room, but of course there was now no Ron, Neville, Dean or Seamus to share it with: just him, furniture and books—lots of books, all old and strangely unfamiliar and inherited from past occupants. And, of course, there was no comfortable common room where he could sit and be with friends.Although Professor McGonagall knew about his relationship with Ginny, it was, she said, to be clearly understood that while Ginny was still a pupil at the school 'utmost. Knock off the fucking giggling. This isn't a damn comedy. As it happens, the English have been making sausages way longer than the Germans, and as anyone who knows me will tell you, I love sausages. (I know what you're thinking and if you so much as fucking smirk, I swear I'm going reach out and slap the shit out of you.)Right, so I was dithering between the Toad in the Hole and the Bubble and Squeak when I was greeted by a curvaceous woman in a bright red 'Mrs Santa' outfit. She was a round woman, Rubenesqu even, as a friend would later say. I didn't know about that. I thought a Ruben was a sandwich, but what the hell. I prefer a woman who can appreciate a good hoagie anyway. Specks of red and green were sprinkled from her rosy cheeks all the way down over her very impressive breasts. She looked like a glitter-bomb had exploded over her.I just sat there, mesmerized by the plastic stardust covering her tits. Every time she moved, her wonderful mounds jiggled, causing the glitter to.
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